Uniquely crazy. That is the conclusion one of my friends recently drew about my life after hearing my latest story. Now, I am not sure if this is great because I am 23 and this is the time for such shenanigans or if I am one tequila shot away from becoming a cautionary tale. Either way, this assessment prompted some shocked introspection, which then led to my best idea ever, the seven year plan…
Essentially, by the time I turn 30 I have high hopes of behaving like a proper grown up. Technically, at this point it is more like a 6.5 year plan, but that’s not the point. The point is, that if I want to have my dignity intact when I finally hit 30, it is time to start making some lifestyle changes now. The trick is that I am terrible at making said changes and hilarity/beer tears often ensue.
So in an effort to become a fully functioning human in accordance with my timeline I have set out the following rules:
1.) No hard alcohol.
2.) Only fraternize with eligible bachelors.
3.) Keep the spectacle to a minimum.
4.) Pursue activities/hobbies.
5.) Think seriously in a career minded way.
6.) Become responsible enough that the idea of caring for a dog/cat/goldfish is not totally ludicrous to those that love me.
7.) Expand palate beyond broccoli, cheese and chicken.
8.) Have more regard for my finances.
9.) Curb tongue in public.
10.) Rules are for losers, therefore there really are no rules.
If I am being honest, the only rule I can even remotely imagine having any success with is rule 10. I mean, I am going to make a concerted effort on the other 9, but if I thought I would do a good job on those there would be no blog material. Sorry Mom and Dad!