My Dunkin’ Donuts Boyfriend

My job is kind of weird. I mean, its not like I’m a high class escort or anything, but I don’t think I would be going out on a limb to say that most people have no idea what I really do on a day to day basis other than check my email. While checking email is a large part of my day, I also occasionally do other things like google random facts and ask marketing to make stuff for me. Sometimes I even host events, which generally means that I get to bomb around in my sweet ride picking all the stuff up that needs to eventually make it back to the office in time for the event. This is usually a harrowing experience that involves me dropping everything at least once, leaving my wallet at the register and nearly dying in a fiery car crash. My only solace in all of this is the pit stop I make at Dunkin’ Donuts for an iced coffee and possibly a chocolate glazed munchkin depending on how much I hate my life that day.

Which brings me to last Friday’s pit stop at Dunks.
I walk in, hair rather askew, digging for the corporate Amex at the bottom of my giant purse, generally looking cute frazzled and not adorable.

“Hi!” The guy at the register chirps, before I am ready to order. Work has been crazy busy this fall and as such I have been to this particular Dunkin’ Donuts way more than usual. The same guy always hurries to the register to take my order and I think, Finally, a DD employee who is psyched to get me my coffee.

“Uhh, yeah, I need fifteen gift cards with two fifty each on them,” and I start pulling gift cards off the tree by the register.

“Two hundred and fifty DOLLARS?” He questions, eyes wide.

I laugh and shake my head, “Oh, no, two dollars and fifty cents. They’re prizes, for work.”

“Damn, ‘cause I was gonna say…” and now somehow I am causing a scene as the 5 other workers are trying to figure out who this chick is buying all the gift cards. They gather around to observe and start winking at me and nudging each other and I have no idea what is going on.

“Hey, hey,” They’re nodding in my direction and chuckling. Do I have something on my face? “It’s Shy’s girlfriend.”

And now I am dying. The normal reaction here is probably to feel creeped out, but I actually find this wildly amusing.

One of the things I love most in life is a good sighting. In college, when life was great, sightings abounded. Campus celebrities were everywhere; football players riding a motorized scooter in the dining hall, Jesuits dressed up as an 80’s hair band, even that random kid you sat next to in English had a sweet shiner from an epic fight you read about in the police blotter that morning. Now that I have graduated, I have to settle for a sighting of the weird guy that dresses up as a wizard and directs traffic across the street from my apartment or the happy hour bartender going about his day like everyone else and not serving drinks to the masses from 4-7.

I always thought I was the only one who kept a running tally in their head of all the people they had random interactions with in their daily lives, but don’t really know. Apparently, this is not the case or maybe it is and now this post has gotten awkward because I admitted to creeping. In either case, I hope I can at least get some free coffee out of this.


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One response to “My Dunkin’ Donuts Boyfriend

  1. Pingback: Have you seen my list? « The Seven Year Plan

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